The year....was 1976. The place.......Lion Country Safari, Irvine California. The event.....Prom.
The story is true, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent!
Okay...not really, it was my prom, I think I was a sophmore, maybe a junior, and I was on again off again with my sweetheart, Lance-Hot Pants Brewer. A very tall, very handsome, SENIOR asked me to the prom, and I accepted. FIRST MISTAKE! I didn't even want to go with him. I just wanted to make Hot Pants jealous. And it worked! He was furious! With me, with Jim the 6'7" senior, who happened to be an expert snow skiier, and I made the mistake of mentioning this to Lance, also an expert snow skiier. Oh dear! The date....now remember it was the disco era. Angel Flight pants, and anything goes with your Tuxedo! The guy always wore a matching color to the girls dress, ruffles and cumberbund and all. So, I spent the typical day primping. And my family was kind of watching for this tall senior boy who I really didn't want to go out with to arrive. I was down the hall in my bedroom putting the final touches on my "look" when I hear my Mom say, OH MY GOSH!!!! He just got out of a bright yellow car in a yellow tuxedo and he is so tall!! HE LOOKS LIKE A BANANA!!!! I almost ran to the bathroom and locked the door then and there. I should have, looking back! So, he comes in, meets my Daddy, my brothers, who were all sneering and snickering from every corner of the room. We do the customary floral exchange, and picture...poloroid if I remember correctly, and off we went.
The dinner, I don't even remember. That is how engaging he was in his conversation. The dance, oh my, talk about two left feet. And his were at least size 20 feet, I am certain! They had rides for us to go on, and we took the peddle boat ride, but he was so tall that when he got in, it nearly tipped, and almost went over, and the entire floor of the boat filled with water, and my beautiful dress was soaked! Then it drug all through the dirt and was ruined. Not that anyone wears a prom dress ever again, but it was pretty, and the night was young. I was cold, wet, and now dirty too. Oh and my shoes were all scuffed from him stepping on them, and now, wet as well. Picture time...He was too tall to fit in the frame, and if you look closely you can see that they had him bend down as much as he could to fit! It was pretty funny, that part! Finally the dance was over, and I was anxious to go home. But NO....he kidnapped me and took me to the beach. Remember there were no cell phones then. I couldn't call my Mom and tell her I was going to be late. I told him I had to go home, or my Dad and brothers would slit his tires and quite possibly mess up his face if I was late. Finally he took me home. But not before trying some smooth moves on me! I was actually kind of scared! Then, I tried to bolt from the car when he pulled up in front of my house, and he somehow followed me to the door, where he then proceeded to try to eat my face. That was his attempt at a nice good bye kiss. I was mortified, mad, scared, and also afraid of getting into trouble for being so late. Once my Mom and Dad heard my story, all was okay. But I spent the rest of that school year hiding from him. Sometimes cute just isn't enough!!