Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Musings From A Middle Aged Mama

Warning:  If you are under 50, you may as well not read any further.  You just won't get it!
Yesterday I went in to my daughter's salon and she cut and colored my hair!  Oh how I love to go for my freshening up.   But sitting there in her chair, looking straight ahead into the very unflattering mirror before me, is SO depressing!  I know what you're thinking.  No one looks great sitting in front of that mirror, with wet hair, a towel around your neck, layers of foil on your head looking something akin to ruffled tin lamp shade.  But yesterday, it was even more than that.  We were chatting with the esthetician in her shop, a very nice lady named Donna.  She was showing me some sunscreen and powder for my face.  She said that with my vitiligo, I need to be very careful with any exposure to sun.  That to prevent this ugly auto immune disease from spreading to my face, or at least to slow the process, that I need to wear a hat at all times in the sun, and always, always, always wear sunscreen.  I am pretty good about it.  But I still go in the pool, and I garden, and I enjoy being outside.  But I do not enjoy the sun anymore.  It hurts my skin.  She used her products on my skin, and oh...I loved them. But they are PRICEY!  I didn't buy any yet.  But she gave me lots of samples.  I used the samples on my face last night.  Carefully following her instructions.  I woke up today and I'll be darned if I didn't look one bit  younger!!!!  Hmmmfph!
Speaking of looking old.  I can barely put my makeup on these days without the assistance of a 10X mirror!  And even with that, I better have a lot of q-tips at the ready to mop up the smears and miscalculations!!!  And speaking of a 10X mirror...nobody even told me I was growing a full beard! What's up with that?  And what about what happens to your skin at this age?  My knees!!!!  They got all wrinkly.   When did THAT happen?  I love to wear shorts.  All year I wear shorts.  But now, I look for knee length shorts!!!   It seems like the areas to hide are getting larger and larger.  The bat wing arms.....the wrinkled knees, the turkey neck, the butt that slid right off my backside and disappeared altogether.  Let's not even talk about boobs.  Yeah, I've got em.  I've got plenty of them too. But they are nowhere NEAR where they are supposed to be.  And the 80 dollar bras I wear just aren't making it all better anymore.  Spanx.  We've all got it.  We all use it.  But now I need something more like a suit of armor to help.  Fifty sucks!  It happened almost overnight.  This..this...hideous joke that mother nature plays on us ladies.  As if the physical wasn't bad enough.  We also have to deal with the M word.  I am so hot most of the time that I feel like I am on fire.  My husband says he levitates at night because I have so many fans blowing on us!  The ceiling fan above us on turbo speed, and a fan next to me on the night table on SUPER DUPER HIGH.  Sometimes, even that isn't enough.   I could jump in the pool several times a day, just to cool off a bit. And I often do.  In the winter, you could hang meat in our house.  I like it THAT cold!!!   Everyone else is in sweatshirts, ear muffs and nose socks, and I am just right.   So now, in addition to losing all of the pigment in my skin, I am feeling like the Saggy Baggy Elephant too.  There is no magic pill.  No magic elixir.  No remedy that I know of.  Like they said in a favorite movie of mine....Steel Magnolias...TIME is marching right across my face!!!   I used to run.  I was a spring board diver in my high school years.   I could swim forever and not get tired.  I would ski around the lake until the boat ran of gas!  And now, I just feel worn out!  Bad day?  I don't know.  Bad week?  Maybe.  Bad year, Yep, on the nosey!   In the words of my daughter Erika's friend Tiana.....SUCK IT FIFTY!!!!
I will be back tomorrow with a much improved attitude!!!!

34 comments:

Suz said...

Sent you a poem..it may cheer you up or push you over the edge..lol
52 was so much better lol
hugs x

Pammy Sue said...

I could have written this entry myself and it would sound exactly the same! We are all in the same boat, darlin'. Saggy, baggy, wrinkly, and my husband's favorite word "crepey". We are always looking at our arms and hands and saying, "Look at that crepey skin!"

We can't stop it so we just have to try and age gracefully. What does that even mean?? To me it means not wearing too much make-up or wearing clothes that are too "young" for us and generally just overcompensating for what we feel like are our failing looks.

It would be nice to be young and beautiful again, but then we'd be ignorant again too. I'd rather be wise and have a wealth of experience and mistakes behind me MOST of the time, wouldn't you?

I've never known you to look any other way than you do right now, and I think you're cute as a button.

poppilinnstudios said...

Hahahahahaha! I can't stop laughing! :) Sorry, but I know exactly what you mean. I've hit 50 and suddenly every time I'm a bit crabby or don't agree with my family they ALL blame it on "M". And, I've given up on expensive face creams, it is what it is! Although I must admit I went to Sephora and bought the Brazilian Peel!
Not sure if it worked-was it my imagination? Oh I could go on and on, but I won't. Thanks for the laugh! Best we can do is grow old gracefully.
We're not getting older, we're getting better!
-Lynn

Neicee said...

Oh I love this..We could all write our own entry and it would sound somewhat the same. I agree with Pammy Sue I would not want to be young and insecure again for all the money in the world. I actually went to my Gyno and said WHAT IS THIS! It was a hair on my chin this 6'5 man almost fell over laughing so hard!
I sound like my grandmother but If you have your health that is the most important thing, and you have a loving family and hubby. You are adorable! Enjoy your age!

From the Kitchen said...

Just go to bed and sleep through 50. 51 is much better.

Best,
Bonnie

Linda said...

Yeah...it pretty much sucks to get old, but I don't worry about it anymore...I used to spend so much time trying to look good, but no one looks any more anyway...so...but the thing that bothers me the most is the facial hair...since when did I become the bearded lady...

Holly said...

I'm pretty sure you're writing about me. I pluck my chin whiskers every day, and wax my mustache, and I'm really lumpy all over. And I find new wrinkles every day. Whoever said that we need to embrace this age has a really wacked sense of humor.

vikki said...

This was a riot! At least we are not alone..I gotta go get the girls smashed tomorrow..yipee!!

The Garden Bell said...

Your preaching to the choir here sister. I don't miss out on one of these. Had the total Hystorectomy at 46, whammed right into the Big M right out of surgery. But, the good news is now at 54 I pretty much am done with the flashes and sweats. About the full beard, well that's another story, just where did that come from. And my question is why did our Mom's not tell us about any of these. Off to find my hat and go check on the garden. Great posting.

NanaNor's said...

Hi Kris, I'd like to say all these issues disappear as you move to the middle 50's but here I am facing that horrid S word next year-yes, next year I'll be 60(when did this happen?)and I still have more facial hair than I know what to do with-btw, where did it all come from? My arms look like chicken wings and the rest of me pretty much the same. But girl, it beats the alternative which is not waking up each day. Hang in there, we are all in the same boat and yes, hot flashes do pass.
Hugs, Noreen

Bethany said...

My cousin always jokes that as women age they seem to turn into men (chin hairs, thinning hair, etc.) I fear for my future, lol.
But perk up - I think you're gorgeous. True story.

Erika said...

This post was kinda funny & kinda sad. But ended really funny. And I'm dying laughing at the "suck it fifty" Lol

You are BEE-utiful through & through. Always have been always will be.

Lauri said...

boy, you struck a chord with us 50-somethings! I (unfortunately) can relate to everything you said. The funny thing is that on the inside, I still feel like a spring chicken and I am always surprised when I look in the mirror and see an old woman.

Janna said...

You may see an old woman, but when I look at your blog I see a sassy lady who doesn't look a day over 40 but has tons of great advice, fun life stories and some gorgeous daughters and grandchildren. And she doesn't seem to be a bad cook either :)

Debbie said...

Oh Kris, this was soo true, and soo hysterical. You described things REALLY well. I didn't think I'd ever get past the hot flashes, but they finally are a thing of the past. (though I STILL require things to be as cool as I can get them) But the chin hair? WHAT is all of that about?? My arms were wings years ago, and those mega 10x mirrors are the only way to go (if you can bear looking) And my knees are not only wrinkly, they are down right shot and need to be replaced...sigh. The view from the hair stylist chair is DEFINITELY a bad one...I HATE it, haha...And just recently I noticed the skin on my fore arms looks "crinkled" or something...soo not good. No, there doesn't seem to be any stopping of time or way to escape the aging process. I spend sooo much time doing what I call "taping and gluing" this old bod together to be even half way presentable, it is unbelievable. Sooo at 56 I have settled into a new mode (or I try to anyway, haha) of simple acceptance. It is what it is. I want to be as healthy as I can possibly be so I do what I can, but as for the rest of it I just pluck, paint, color, and avoid mirrors. lol. Oh, and btw, in my opinion you look FANTASTIC...would never guess you were 50. And you have more energy and spunk than most women who are lots younger than you are. So whatever you are doing, it's working well.

❀❀❀Ðαωᾔ❀❀❀ said...

Aw, I think you look great and have not noticed any of the things you are noticing.
I asked my hubby a while ago if I could get a boob job, he said sure, when I told him it was not going to make them bigger just bring the back up where they belong he wasn't nearly as excited about it.
Hope tomorrow is better
{hugs}

Debbie said...

I think you just crawled out of my head. I just turned 50 in June....it was like a punch in the gut. Don't know why, it never bothered me before, sheeesh...I truly agree....SUCK IT FIFTY! Blessings anyway, Debbie

glor said...

Kris, great post. Could relate all the way through. I turned 50 ten years ago, looking at 61 come this fall. I'm one of the "lucky" ones who have had hot flashes since 45 and they're still going strong. Gotta say though, I love the age, love the mind set. There's no more bad hair days. Paying attention to Weight Watchers these days and having a grand old time. It is what it is.

Pam said...

Oh Kris - I will be 50 in a month and I am just not looking forward to it! I have never had a problem with age and I do not really feel like I am going to be 50 (some days I feel more like 75 LOL) but this birthday is bothering me a bit. I have all the same symptoms of 50 that you do. I have had that darn chin hair for years now. Yuck! Us 50 chicks need to stick together. We are beautiful and life is good! I am always hot too and living in Arizona it SUCKS!! Hang in there Kris and I'll let you know how my turning 50 is!

bellini said...

Glad we could get this off our chest! I am 53 and adore those people who miscalculate my age and believe I am younger. I bake them cookies:D There is no magic formula but age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. After fifty everything that doesn’t hurt doesn’t work!

Nicolle said...

You are beautiful!!!!

Genn said...

I agree with Nicolle mom! You are beautiful!! I'm sorry you are feeling tired from a bad week/year. But I think you look great.

Dena said...

You crack me up. I can so relate to everthing you just said. I enjoy your blog so much, wish I lived in CA so we could hang out, you are a blast.

Whosyergurl said...

Kris, I am 52...will be 53 in October and I hate to tell you...but I am in love with you for the way you said it...you said it best.
YES the sun huts.
YES washed out, greaying hair is sucky.
SKIN gets dry and wrinked.
SUCKS to get old.
But we have each other.
xo, Cheryl

deb said...

LMAO I WISH I was 50 again!!!!!!!!!!! wait til you get closer to 60...the thing I hate most is the eyesight goes...and I HATE the gray roots every month!!!! OH and the wrinkly knees...yes...why doesnt Jane Fonda have these issues?????????

ain't for city gals said...

ditto what deb just said..wait until you closer to 60!..it gets worse girlfriend...oh yes it does! I have passed the torch to my beautiful nieces...much easier that way!

Diane said...

Well.....If my beautiful daughter feels this way, then I think I should just go back to bed.

I felt my age when I got up this morning, I read your little note and now I feel 110. OUCH!!!

Your mama

Maryrose said...

Great post...couldn't have said it better, but you look great and 50 does get easier....maybe. :)

Pam said...

I turned 41 this year and I am totally noticing lots of aches & pains, lines in my neck, wrinkles around my eyes & lips... ugh. Growing older has so many benefits but it is also very humbling!

zaza said...

I hear ya Kris! Although as I try to keep reminding myself if I wasn't 54 I wouldn't have my 2 wonderful little grand babies to enjoy. Of course there are some mornings that are more difficult than others :-)

I also keep reminding myself that all the aches and pains and hair and wobbly arms are much better than the option!!

Just sayin'

Kerri said...

I think you're beautiful Kris! Is this what I have to look forward to in 8 1/2 short years? The other day I got my first vein thingy on the back of my leg! Ughh!
Drink some wine and feel better! :)

Stacey said...

Hahhaa.. I'm laughing because you sound like my Mom :) I think you look great!!!

Linda said...

OH I hear you, Kris...I'm on the far side of the fifties now...and can STILL identify with all of this!! LOL!

annielizabeth said...

Kris, sweetie, drop whatever you are doing right now and call your health food store and ask if they have any Maca Root! When I started with hot flashes they were mild and then suddenly, I had 3 nights, of night sweats in a row and THAT was it! NASTY! I worried I wouldn't get back to sleep and then the worrying kept me awake and I have to be at my business everyday, no sick days for me, so I got on the 'puter and researched menopause. In a nutshell what happens is the hormone system (endocrine glands) that are the GOD or master of your body's functions goes haywire because of lack of estrogen. The hypothalamus (main) gland goes out of balance and then thinks the body is getting cold so it turns on the heat then you sweat to cool down. I'll be 52 this Friday and I've been taking Maca nearly everyday for 2 years and I've never had night sweats again and only sometimes when something is real emotional I'll get a small flash but I can live with that. I have always been very "alternative medicine" minded and refused to do traditional hormone replacement therapy. I tell everyone about Maca. You only take less than a teaspoon and it doesn't taste bad either. I put it in juice and kefir. Now I have some caps to swallow also. You can take as much as you want to control the flashes b/c it is a food not a chemical and what it does is balance the hormones naturally. Truly amazing stuff. Guess what? The perk of it is you will have more energy, too. How do you think I run a business 6 days a week, and am renovating my big house? It is not only for menopause but your girls can take it for PMS and your hubby for more energy b/c it supports ALL the glands including the adrenals. It can even help with cortisol which puts fat around our bellies! Want more energy, more support? Just take more. I rushed out got my first bottle from Whole Foods Mkt but now I buy it from the website macamagic.com. Go look at their site and read some testimonials. It is a root similar to a radish or turnip, grows high in the Andes mountains and has been nourishing the Peruvian people for a looong time. Get some as a b-day gift for yourself! Oh, and the extra hair? Testosterone is out of balance, there is too much of it and maca could help with that, too. Be well and be cool, ya hot mama!